Tuesday, May 22, 2012

New extreme in minimal running shoes--you know it had to happen!

Well, running fans, your quest for more and more minimal running shoes--inspired by Christopher McDougall's Born to Run, describing the huarache sandals of the Tarahumara Indians and advocating running barefoot or nearly so--is about to reach new heights, not just proverbially speaking. Not to be outdone by the Vibram Five-Fingers, the Nike Free, the Merrill Pace Glove or other such pretenders, a new player has entered the arena, "Hermes Sports," and its CEO known in his glory days for flying past competitors as if on winged feet, now retired from competition and also from his messenger business, wants to help runners get that special edge. 

His new model, the Hermes Wingfoot, rolled out today, is set to revolutionize the sport. For one, Hermes has already secured sponsorship deals with Olympians, although he did observe privately that none of them could break his records. Still, the athletes have jumped on board with lucrative offers, and have ditched rivals such as Scechers, Nike, and Adidas.


"This won't be your father's Olympics," said Craig Masback, former CEO of USATF. We're looking for the most exciting Olympic Games ever."


Runners aren't the only ones anticipating the new shoe. Pole vaulters and high jumpers are excited about the prospect of exceeding personal bests. Rumors that Sergey Bubka would soon be coming out of retirement to defend his pole vault record have circulated wildly--with whispers that he plans to attempt 22 feet without his pole.


While other models boast of lightness, the Wingfoot takes the concept a step further--sandals lighter than the ones used by the Tarahumara tribe, and coming with wings attached, as this link shows. 

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Talaria

But these are no ordinary wings. Carefully crafted by aeronautical engineers in the Hermes Sports labs, these wings lift the wearer from the ground for minutes at a time--and models are being developed with a longer battery life that could easily bring the marathon world record under two hours, if not more.


Still, some critics object that the shoes will go the way of tech swimsuits. After an explosion of world records in super-light suits, FINA banned such suits from competition. An IAAF spokesman declined to comment, pending further investigation--but stock in Hermes has skyrocketed, giving rise to speculation that IAAF will allow the shoes.


"It brings a breath of fresh air to our sport," said the Hermes CEO. "Everyone wants to fly, and our technology makes it possible. Besides those 'five-finger' numbers look just plain dorky. Come on! You can set speed records and still be cool--and there's no impact, so goodbye plantar fasciitis!"

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You heard it here first--I didn't say it was true or would happen. But you did hear it here first.

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