In it for the long run

My imperfect take on the Jesus, Mary, and Martha story

Martha and Mary

So I’ve been thinking about these two. An article I came across has an eye-opening perspective. The author re-examines the translation and suggests that Jesus is not necessarily castigating Martha and saying that Mary has the better part, only that she, like Martha, also has “the good part.”

Here’s that article, well worth a read:

https://eewc.com/new-view-mary-martha/

However, while I like the reexamination of the passage, I still want to look at the ramifications of seeing it the way I’ve been seeing it—Martha being the busy host, Mary sitting at Jesus’ feet (in the article, this is described as simply a figure of speech to describe disciples in general, so Mary may well not have been literally “sitting at Jesus’ feet, but let me move on to the customary way we look at the passage).

As I keep seeing it, we have one person who’s a doer, gets things accomplished, makes lists, organizes, manages, etc. Then we have her sister, who, in the passage, comes across as something of a daydreamer.

And I can’t help (maybe it’s my perspective) thinking of Mary as “neuro-divergent,” ADHD, whatever. I wonder if she dropped too many pieces of pottery, burned the soup, forgot to buy the rolls, tripped over her gown, was “in the way.” Mary would then feel uncomfortable helping Martha because she had made many such attempts and felt rebuffed. And I won’t say I blame Martha—in my reading of the passage, she might well have felt impatient with her sister’s awkwardness and struggle with practical tasks. She might well have decided it was easier to do it herself than ask for help, yet at the same time resenting having to take on so much herself.

Perhaps when they were growing up, she was (similar to the story of the Prodigal Son) the good child who did things right, didn’t get into trouble, always finished her homework on time, helped her parents—while Mary was the scatterbrained kid, chosen last in gym class, forgetting to get her parents to sign permission slips for this or that activity, staring out the window when the teacher was talking. So the good girl grew up to become the good woman. Her sister grew to become still the dreamer. She didn’t as the son in the other story did ask her parents for her inheritance. She had developed too much of an inferiority complex for that. But she was definitely an outsider. Then along came Jesus who was kind to her, recognized her wisdom, didn’t criticize her for the clumsy mistakes. Of course, when Jesus was around, Mary felt safe emotionally, and was more likely to sit in the living room talking with Jesus and his friends. Martha, ever the organizer, was also feeling like an outsider.

She too needed the recognition that Jesus regularly gave Mary. When she and Jesus talked, it often was on the practical details, the “what time are you arriving tomorrow?” “How many are coming?” Mary, indeed, might secretly envy those discussions, the feeling that her sister was the more necessary of the two, the one Jesus relied on while Mary was the emotionally needy one. I wonder if in this reading, we have her feeling left out, klutzy, useless, in the way when she did try to help.

So where does that leave Jesus? He wants to recognize both women, and perhaps asks Martha to be more understanding of what her sister has to offer. The “good son” who didn’t want to come into the house when his brother returned had the counterpart in the “good daughter” who felt she was doing all the work while her sister was given all the love. In the Prodigal Son story, the father wants them both to join the celebration. He reassures the “good son” that he’s not been forgotten. Perhaps what Jesus says next to Martha (not shown in our story) is “You are both of value.”

We sometimes question our worth when we see others recognized and we’re left out, whether it’s the practical person doing the organizing and feeling s/he gets no credit for it or the neuro-divergent dreamer who feels passed over and scolded when s/he wants to help—and finally retreats to safe places. The brother, with the freedom men have had historically, runs away. He might have felt like a fifth wheel, not really needed.

Both siblings in both stories need to be invited back to the inner circle, learn to recognize each other’s value.

Maybe the take-away is for us each to recognize what we bring to the table, neither dismissing nor envying others their gifts, just claiming our own. Martha had trouble in our usual reading of the passage claiming the gifts she brought, maybe wondering if she was being taken for granted. Mary may have had trouble seeing what she could offer since her gifts didn't fit the neat boxes in which others could place their contributions. What if the sisters could come together and share what they had, learn from each other, stay focused on both their own and their siblings' abilities? What if the brothers in the Prodigal Son story had found each other before the second son left to pursue a dream he probably couldn't define?

We as a society need to be mindful that we can grow so much more by recognizing the diverse gifts each of us has. Howard Gardner's Frames of MInd, which delves into the multiple "intelligences" that people offer, calls attention to the need to recognize that intelligence isn't a single entity that can be easily measured by the usual IQ tests. Maybe in discovering the unique intelligence each human being offers, we can ask of one another and ourselves to share that which makes us valuable to the global community.

This is just my own (maybe neuro-divergent) reading of the passage. I make no claim to be a scripture scholar, although I appreciate the close readings of the scholars. This is simply my experience, my take on the compliant/non-compliant sibling. 

posted by DPMcManus @ 12:53 PM